Falling in love is a wonderful thing, but on dating apps and social media, it can also be a dangerous game. Romance scammers create fake profiles to lure people in, and once they have your trust, they’ll use it to steal your money. They are masters of manipulation, building a deep, emotional connection with you over weeks or even months. They might talk to you every day, make you feel special, and even profess their love. But eventually, they’ll come up with a sob story and ask for money.
How Romance Scams Work
The classic romance scam follows a similar pattern. The scammer will find you on a dating app, a social media site like Instagram or Facebook, or even through an unsolicited text message. They’ll use a stolen photo and create an elaborate backstory. Often, they’ll claim to be a successful professional working abroad—an engineer on an oil rig, a military member deployed overseas, or a doctor on an international mission. This gives them a ready-made excuse for why they can’t meet in person.
Once they’ve “love-bombed” you with attention and sweet words, they’ll start to introduce the “problem.” They’ll tell you they need money for an emergency—a sick relative, a sudden legal fee, or travel expenses to finally come and visit you. The requests start small, but they quickly grow. They’ll ask for money in a way that’s hard to trace, like wire transfers, gift cards, or cryptocurrency.
Spot the Red Flags: Your Scammer Radar
Becoming a scam spotter is your best defense. Pay close attention to these warning signs:
- The Relationship Moves Fast: Scammers will declare love and a serious commitment very quickly. A genuine relationship takes time to build.
- They Never Meet in Person: They’ll always have an excuse for why they can’t meet you or do a video chat. Their camera is broken, they’re in a remote location, or they have a passport issue.
- The Profile Seems Too Good to Be True: The profile picture is often a stock photo or from a famous person. Their online presence might be brand new, with few friends or posts. You can do a reverse image search on their photo to see if it’s being used elsewhere.
- They Ask for Money: This is the biggest and most obvious red flag. No one you haven’t met should ever ask you for money, no matter how convincing their story is.
- They Want to Move to Another App: Scammers often try to move the conversation from a dating site or a monitored social media app to a messaging app like WhatsApp, where their activity is harder to track.
What to Do If You Suspect a Scam
If you have a feeling something is off, trust your gut.
- Stop All Contact Immediately: Don’t engage with the person. Block them on all platforms.
- Talk to a Trusted Friend or Family Member: Scammers try to isolate you. Tell someone you trust about the situation. A third party can often spot red flags that you might have missed.
- Report the Profile: Report the fake profile to the dating app or social media site where you met the scammer. This can help prevent them from targeting others.
- Do Not Send Money: Never, ever, send money or gifts to someone you’ve only met online.
- If You’ve Already Paid: If you have already sent money, report the scam to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) at ReportFraud.ftc.gov and contact your bank or the company you used for the payment (e.g., a gift card company) immediately.
Romance scams are not just about money; they are an emotional attack. By staying vigilant and being aware of the warning signs, you can protect both your heart and your wallet.
